Nice — or is it? It also could be a diversion or motivated by guilt. But it's actually a preemptive strike, Dr. He stops cuddling in bed. Or he comes to bed dressed for Antarctica when he once slept nude. His computer habits have changed. Another red flag: Separate, secret email accounts. But your husband is probably keeping something from you, he says. His cell phone habits have changed.
Why Do Happily Married Men Cheat on the Wives They Love?
Even without a new phone, his calling and texting patterns may have changed. Perhaps your husband now keeps his cell phone in his pocket when he once dropped it on the counter. Maybe he used to make calls and send texts while you were around. He excuses himself each time the phone beeps. Or it might be a new habit picked up from another woman, says Dr. Sign up for our Healthy Living Newsletter!
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However, there are certain signs you can look for that can help you to decipher fact from fiction, and that means paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. For example, when people are lying, they typically repeat certain words, almost as though they're reciting lines in a script, in the hopes that their point will come across to the listener. After all, making something up on the spot can be complicated and difficult, so people who lie tend to stick with key, go-to phrases to keep things simple.
On the flip side, when people lie, they sometimes overshare the amount of information that they provide and give way more detail and specifics than would ever be necessary. They do this in order to seem more honest, transparent, and believable, but in reality, it's overkill.
Further, in addition to what people tend to say when they lie, it's also important to take note of how they're saying it. Specifically, when people lie, they have a tendency to touch or cover their mouths when they talk, almost signalling that they're holding something back.
People are also inclined to sway, fidget, and even shake nervously when they're being dishonest, so it's imperative to look for any movements that seem anxious and unnatural. It's also believed that when people lie, they tend to look to the right while they're speaking — perhaps because they know that they're in the wrong. Many times when a man is cheating, he looks for ways to stir up arguments, squabbles, and disagreements with his partner, and there are many reasons behind this fight-driven phenomenon. In the first place, many men who cheat are looking for ways to distract their partner and prevent them from figuring out what's really going on behind their backs.
So by picking fights, men are able to divert their partner's attention to other topics in order to throw them off the scent. Whether it's a disagreement about cleaning up the bathroom, walking the dog, or picking up a prescription at the pharmacy, these small, petty, and seemingly insignificant fights and quips are meant to cover up big indiscretions. Additionally, when a man is prone to pick fights with his partner, this can also be a sign that he wants her to pull back and disengage from him and the relationship. After all, if your man starts treating you poorly, is critical of the things you're doing, and becomes argumentative, ill-tempered, and unreasonable, it's not uncommon that you'll want to withdraw from the situation.
In fact, men who pick fights are then able to use that as an excuse to "walk out" on the argument so that the real issue never has a chance to come out. Many guys even use this desire to cool off after a fight as an opportunity to leave and spend time with the other object of their affection. Further, when people are under a great deal of stress and pressure, they also tend to be more irritable, testy, and quarrelsome.
And when a man is trying to hide the person he's seeing on the side, being stressed out is a common side effect. Another major indicator that your man is cheating on you is that he inadvertently calls you by the wrong name.
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Also known as a Freudian slip, this is an instance in which a person ends up saying out loud what he or she's unconsciously thinking. And for a man who's cheating on his partner, it's not uncommon that the name of the person who's the new apple of his eye ends up popping out of his mouth, sometimes at inopportune times.
To that end, research has shown that situational stressors can cause Freudian slips , so when your guy's conscious mind is preoccupied, distracted, and nervous when he's around you, his unconscious mind is able to let loose. And when this happens, it's likely that the name of the person he's trying to suppress ends up coming out front and center.
In many instances, when a man is being unfaithful, he goes out of his way to condemn and denounce the act of cheating as much as possible. In psychology, this concept is known as reaction formation , and it's when a person becomes overly obsessed with an idea, concept, or belief that's actually the complete opposite of his or her real thoughts and feelings about the issue.
In the case of a cheating man, he may be so outspoken about his condemnation of cheating that it's actually a defense mechanism and coping tactic for his own indiscretions. This reaction formation helps him deal with and manage his own inner-conflict, and by being so openly and forcefully opposed to cheating, he's trying to convince others, as well as himself, that he's not really a cheater. So if you've noticed that your man is consistently finding ways to tell you and show you how fervently he's opposed to cheating, it's possible that he's a cheater himself. A classic sign that a man is cheating on you is that he suddenly has a new need for privacy.
You may notice that he's taking his calls in the other room, clearing his browser history on the computer, as well as deleting his text and Facebook messages.
You truly want to give them another chance.
This is due to the fact that when men cheat, their ability to maintain their privacy is an important part of keeping up the illusion of their innocence. In many cases, men who cheat end up creating their own private world, with secret usernames, email addresses, social media accounts, hidden apps, and even separate phone numbers, bank accounts, and vacations. So if you've noticed that your man wants his privacy more than ever before, consider that he might be cheating on you.
A man's friends can give you clear insight into his character, priorities, interests, and pastimes. And while you can't control who your man is friends with, it's interesting to note that a man who cheats typically hangs out with other men who've also cheated. A mature person keeps their partner in mind wherever they are. Please try again. Give us a little more information and we'll give you a lot more relevant content.
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